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All of these boys were Catholic—either practicing or, at least, culturally Catholic. I figured, I’d meet some Catholic boy eventually, have the Catholic wedding, and have the Catholic babies and that’d be it. At eighteen, I moved away for college and planned on focusing on school, having some fun, and getting into dental school. We spent about three months going on dates, spending time together, meeting each other’s friends, and getting to know one another. He did not shy away from that label and he proudly called me his girlfriend. He looks up to his father and has a loving and devoted relationship to his mother. He did not talk disrespectfully to his mother and he sought advice from his father. Even when we were upset or mad or hurt, we took the time to hear one another out. Early on, he would come to Mass with me and I would go to church with him. If I were not able to talk about my faith or if I never was able to share it with him, I do not think we would have stayed in a relationship.
I would think about serious dating eventually and get married eventually. During my first semester of college at a local club, I met him. He was non-denominational Christian and had a faith-filled upbringing. But at some point I had to really decide if dating a non-Catholic was something I could do. We had a conversation about exclusivity and when we both discussed that our dating relationship would be exclusive and serious, I knew that was a big step in the right direction. Dating each other was a commitment to be honored and respected. He loves his siblings and even while away at college, remained involved in their lives. He reminisced about summer get-a-ways with his grandfather. I come from a big, loud, and incredibly loving family. (He has also has not said he won’t ever convert, so fingers crossed and prayers his way.)While I was applying to dental school, I had my first serious thoughts of marriage.
He was handsome, friendly, athletic, smart, loyal, funny, caring, interesting, and . He visited aunts and uncles and played with his little cousins. I wanted my boyfriend to be able to come to my family gatherings and not be scared away. We had been dating over two years when I started my application process.
I was not willing to date casually and constantly wonder whether he was faithful to me and our relationship. We remained committed to one another and that meant always and every time coming to the table and resolving our conflicts. He never expressed interest in converting while we were dating and his mom was a bit wary, but he always respected that I was and always will be Catholic.
The recent post, "Catholic Men Should Be the Best Daters", refreshingly did not attempt to psychoanalyze our stilted romantic lives, but presented a simple and practical message: guys, just ask girls out.
The post apparently hit a nerve, with many men and women sharing it through social media.
Monique Ocampo has a lovely Valentine’s day post on the plight of the single Catholic woman.
She includes some correspondence from one of her readers which I’m going to quote here because I think it is an excellent expression of what I’ve seen on the Catholic dating scene: Every Catholic guy I know is either dating, married, or a seminarian…
Please don't think us ladies expect you to be perfect at dating - we certainly aren't - but it might be helpful to be aware of some of the pitfalls or problems that can crop up. With Valentines Day close by, a friend had suggested I write about “Catholic” dating.Now before some happily married Catholic couple protests my biased opinion, I should probably clarify.Not too long ago I was at a young adult Mass with close to 200 people in attendance and the priest, during the homily, asked, “Girls, please raise your hand if you’ve been asked out by a guy at Church.” So of the maybe 100 girls at Mass one raised her hand. So, Catholics don’t date or they just don’t date each other.Either way there’s nothing absolutely wrong with that.
Which means that you end up stuck dating, and if you are a devout Catholic girl looking for a devout Catholic husband the odds are not in your favour.